on going back

..

I was searching for the chop of yellow hair,

the bounce,

the eyes that used to burn diamonds.

I felt like an actor.

Furrowed and desert dry

pulling for the words, hands in the dark.

My frame got horse

from all the wringing back crescents.

I felt Apology pinch my lips small,

Guilt caught the sweat and put it all back

into the cold places.

Were we underwater?

Was that why I was holding my breath?