Saturday, March 17, 2018

St Patrick's brings up all my greenest heartsongs.

Of when I was a simple blade of grass 
Growing across the world
Wide and all at once.
Of when I drank Guinness 
In my grandmother's sweater. 
When laughter was a language I spoke fluently
With you.


Friday, February 9, 2018

What my mom said

You were born into the arms of wonder
of wonder who i am without all these children
or wonder what i could have been without all this marriage
or wonder will i ever know myself 
will i ever be free from the pain of molestation
of pain i didn’t ask for but felt was my fault because i stayed still
because i stayed quiet 
because i stayed breathing in time
with a clock
at the edge of the table
at the edge of the bed
of the bed of my father’s father
pain was born inside my body before i knew how to spell it.
pain was scathed from one unhappy hand to another before i knew how to break it
pain moved from his hand to my chest and i felt it
burning inside my blood 
carried inside my breasts
inside the milk
that spilled when my child needed her drink. 
i held her and promised that nothing bad—to her— would happen 
like it happened 
like it happened
like it happened to me. 

All of my life, I’ve been after the fact 
protecting the knot from exposing my darkness
from exposing the rot that i asked for, forgot
and the older i get, the older it is, and i can not grow from the place i was shot. 
I’m lower now into the grave
my father, at his age in a haze of confusion, 
i dare not release 
what i know he should have seen
but did not 
did not
did not

Now that my son has a daughter
I feel it beginning all over again
I want to reach out 
branch over state lines and shade her
from splintering crimes 
committed by lonely, broken men
I want to start over again. 
In her eyes I’m divine 
she doesn’t know
I’m broken somehow
deeper than i know how to go
deeper than i’ll ever show
i want to be a sheltering tree 
for the daughters that come
for the daughters that come
after me. 

take me home to grace 
take me!
save me a space
i fill all my pockets with sage
i found a god, call him Father
call him better, call him judgment day
call him saving place, call him heaven
call it no place for people like you—like him—
See the scars on my heart make it hard to distinguish you from him
i’m never sure
never sure
never sure 
even my own husband can only touch me sweetly some of the time
mostly it’s tin foil in tin fingers down the lining of my tummy 
but as his wife, i befriend it

the shadow of abuse
the darkening the sky
builds, sprouting seeds in the throat
a volatility, a rage, a parade of malpractice
of dark
of heavy 
of clouds that wrap around and around
they never believed us, until now
until now
until now 

In the rain, i hold my granddaughter, rocking
In the spring, we will kill what winter did not  

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

K Jackson

I'm still uncovering
Pieces of you
In this place we lived

The label maker
When turned on
Said your name
Gravity landed hard on my thumb as I hit the backspace.

Eight times in a row.

Erasing my need
To place you.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017


Joanna here.  
Sending you the warm of something that feels like vanilla. 
Wanted to let you know
I'm not crafting sewers anymore. 
heaps of trash 
with wailing arms. 

I've given that all up.
I want you to know
I don't hold your name hostage. 
I acknowledge the grey area. In all things.
Everything is a grey area, until it's not. 
gnarled tree, rotting, nearly falling over, crawling with bugs
still sighs a kind of refuge. 

I just wasn't ready to jump into lover-hood.
It took me by surprise. Such a proposition.
And you must have known, I didn't come to you for that.
Immediately, I felt boxed in.
A feeling of trap grew around me
Blazed 'warning' in my mind.
It was innocent, enough... consensual on paper.
Still, my eyes blinked in smoke.

A man in power, reaching down to me.  
For sex.
While I was reaching up to him
to be taken seriously.

So, yeah, lately, I have been thinking of you.
What happened with us.
My path, crossed with yours.   
I'm writing, currently. 

Going in circles that move.

Thursday, November 9, 2017

For you not in the know


Translates to

That hoe over there

Now that you know,
Click it. 

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Caramel Candy

You look different somehow 
I’m riding the train right now
Riding it clear outta town 
And someone here smells like you
The way your arm pit did
When I snuggled into it
And told you I’d never loved... 
Never loved like this before
Faith in men was restored 
Loved saved me from feelin forlorn
I was cast to sea
Till your arms found me

Three Children cry on the bus
Star dawn into star dusk
Lettin go is always rough
I watch the weeds below 
whip into a small tornadoe
I get to smellin you

I smile & think about
The laughs we’d laugh about
How fast the world goes round
Your Irish furrowed brow
I still could pick you out 
Pick you out of a crowded crowd,

But maybe the years without
Have changed us
Cuz you look different somehow.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Ripping off Paul McCartney's "Every Night"

In the dark I lay with my eyes wide / So full of the day.   / In the light I stand with my arms crossed / Not sure what to say 
Every sky gets cloudy some day
But every cloud's not framed by blue oo oo oo oo 

OO today I feel I'm flyin'

Straight into you...

Straight into you.

You oo oo oo oo oo oo oooooo oooo
oooooo oooo
oooo oooo

You oo oo oo oo oo oo oooooo oooo
oooooo oooo
oo oo oo oo

 In the dark I open the windows / It's winding me down.  /  In the light I pull all the shades close / It's blinding without
And every sky has its star-shine
But not all star-shine gets a view oo oo oo oo 

OO today I feel like fallin'

All over you

All over you.