Chameleon

This morning
My eyelids did not gracefully find the light,
The second after they opened my mind and body jerked.
around.
all over.
like a tantrum thrown in front of the entire super market 
just cant control
just couldn't control my feet as they chased each other in the earliest part of morning.
running.
running.
running.
putting into action what my mind has been doing
what my mind cant stop doing. 
what i escape from when I launch into characters in 
"the banana man"
or "the 17th of June"
or "Say de Kooning"
plays im in
characters i play
colors i change into.

banana girl is -...purple. deep deep purple.  
she wears multi-colored bracelets and tastes like rainbow sherbet but her true self is the deepest most royal purple.

i walk out of the class room. rain soaked pavement smacks the red stop light onto pink pants and the energy glides up my legs as they march on
 
to being Kat - a sister concerned with keys to a Camero. A pale Blue.  a color that is reminiscent of joy and ease, but too pale to actually fulfill anything. pale blue shirt, with pale blue sound in her ears, and pale blue eyes with far off thoughts that

when the hour is up-- fade back to whatever the color my eyes actually are.  And move through the arts center to my last destination, 

Mandy- color: orange.  But not the color of my shirt today (consequently the shirt I wore yesterday as well) but the closest orange to red--blood orange I've heard it called, but Mandy says vibrant orange, the word blood makes her queezy.  from the center of her passionate heart, this orange soaks up everything around her --like the ink from a sharpie when it spreads across a napkin. 

  And then I walk out the door and to this coffee shop, feeling the tints left on the windows of my eyes:  rich purple, pale blue, blood orange--and I feel the swirl of my own life tunneling in my head: green, blue, red, pink, orange, gray, black, pale yellow--colors I don't understand- and they take their turn with me one at a time.  

Ordering tea: i don't know, peachy?
--peachy with flashes of teal because I had to be sassy with the cashier.
"I meant HOT tea, not sweet tea..."   (then back to peachy, quick) "I'm sorry.  No, no no, it's me. i should have said Hot"
Walking around campus: on a great day: warm yellow, glowing
moments of doubt: off white.  
the color i am right now: a blue so blue it's almost black-- slowly fading with time to pink-- ill probably end up crazy-pink today..

i dont know i dont know...im just typing 
and changing colors, 

chameleon.
me.
Have I ever told you I'm a chameleon?

Chameleon: They are distinguished by their parrot-like feet, their separately mobile eyes, their very long, highly modified, and rapidly extrudable tongues, their swaying gait, crests or horns on their distinctively shaped heads, and the ability of some to change color

the ability of some to change color.